Thursday

Well...I am feeling frustrated now. At first, having so many days where the school was closed was wonderful. It was a real treat to be able to stay home and still get paid. But it has started to happen so many times and I am becoming frustrated with the whole thing. I am trying to prepare my children for the end of the school year with graduation preparations and by finishing their final testing. But it's not going to happen unless the school is open and the children are there.

I really can't point fingers, and say that it is someones fault. the school's closure is usually a direct result of living in a secluded area. The water being shut off is out of our control. This has been the reason for the past couple days of school closure. Another big reason for having no school is for bereavement. Now, I am not sure why we require three days of mourning...but it's a cultural thing. The only person who can change this is the principal. Unfortunately, I have heard (by rumour only) that this is the reason that the last two principals were fired...or the reason why there contracts were not renewed. It can be Carree suicide to step on the wrong peoples toes, and not respecting the three days of mourning apparently steps on many peoples toes out here. We also close the school when there are community meetings, because everyone needs to have the opportunity to go...and they are held in the school gymnasium. Propane leaks, broken school kitchen, and power outages also account for some of our days of missed school.

This week, we will have had a total of 2.5 days of school. Monday and Wednesday the school was closed for water reasons, and Friday the school is only a half day.

Today was sports day here and the temperature in the sun was around thirty. Luckily there was a breeze and the shade felt very cool. I had 7 students, two girls and three boys. We struggled through the day. It was tough for them, being so young and so hot, to participate in all of the events, and I was grateful when I had all of them without tears for parts of the day. I am even more grateful to be home right now.

My house is very hot. I am going to move the bed in the spare bedroom downstairs to the basement tonight so that I can fall asleep as opposed to doing what I've done the past three nights...pass out from the heat!

summer plans...draft one

Many people are wondering what my plans are for the summer, so I guess I will let you know what I am kinda thinking about.



Last day of teaching....June 29

Leave Fox Lake............June 29

Drive to Airdre (to drop off a friend from Fox Lake)....June 29th

Edmonton.................June 30

Saskatchewan..........July 1-2

Edmonton...................July 2-7

BC...............................July 8-14

Tennessee..................July 15-29

Edmonton....................July 30-August 15

Fox Lake.....................August 16

horses

I know I wrote in an April Fools day blog about the wild horses. That wasn't true. This is though.

Part of me wants to write..."Do Not Try This At Home". But i won't, because you haven't got any wild horses at home and I guess I ended up okay.

There were a bunch of wild horses outside my home on Saturday. So I, being the "learn the hard way" kind of person I am sometimes, decided to go out and try to pet one. Yes...I did. I very slowly began approaching the one horse, who was kinda off to himself. I was talking to him in a soft voice. I got really close, close enough that if I reached out I could have touched him...but I was scared stiff to move my arm. so I walked away and went inside. See...it all turned out okay!

But once I got inside, I noticed my sugar bowl. I grabbed it and went back outside. The horses were still there...and I felt more bold to approach the one horse. I walked slowly to him, and spoke gently that i had sugar for him. I stood in front of him and he watched me put a pile of sugar into my hand. I reached out my hand and just held it there in front of his nose. He eventually, after about 5 mins, walked forward a couple steps and licked the sugar off my hand. All of a sudden, all six horses were surrounding me, and nudging me. I ended up with no sugar left in my bowl by the end. The horses licked it all off my hand. And then they let me pet them after.

That was cool. Maybe not so smart...I admit that....but I will never forget how it felt to have those horses eating out of my hand and allowing me to pet them. You now how good it feels to take a really deep breath after you've been holding your breath for a long time? It kinda felt like that. Only, the hair on my skin was standing on end too!

Sunday's super awesome run!

I first have to admit that I have been reading a book called "Running for Dummies". It's an awesome book, so don't laugh. I have specifically been reading the chapter on training for your half marathon. Although I would like to run a full...I figure I should train for the half first. In the book, it suggests to use Saturday or Sunday for your long run and then rest the day after...so I have chosen to do my long runs on Sunday.

I left at about 7pm for my run. And I ran. In my head, I visualized certain landmarks along my route as the finish line...and raced to them. First, I ran to the river. Then I ran to the Northern store. I ran towards the Prairies and then turned to run towards the corner Pocket. Once I got there, I took the road behind it, and ran past Jeffery's home until I got to a fork in the road. There, I took the quad trail. It took me through the woods to the baseball diamond and from there I ran home. I walked three times during my run, and each time for less that a minute. And get this...I ran the whole time. No jogging, no fast walking...I was all out running. My body felt great and wasn't hurting at all. My breathing wasn't too laboured, so I was able to physically push myself. But the part I am so proud of myself for is the excellent mental state I was in. I was able to convince myself and my body that the finish line was really where I was imagining it to be...the river, the northern, the RCMP station, etc. I was able to make my body run faster by simply tell myself too with my thoughts. I had beautiful form and continuously was evaluating it during the run to make sure I didn't forget anything (arms not crossing over, feet not slapping down, lean back a bit). I ran past each imaginary finish line and immediately worked to convince myself that I was just starting a new race...and I would push myself to run even faster.

I don't remember ever having such excellent control over my running. It really is all about your mentality. You will believe what you tell yourself to believe. And this is true for all areas of life. I can't is only true if you believe it. I can is only true if you believe it. So, tell yourself you can. Believe you can. And if you fail, it's just part of getting there. It's not the finish line. I can run a marathon. I would fail if I tried today....but I am training so I can get there. How silly to say, "I can't run a marathon".

There is power in positive thinking.

today

Just a quick note...

Today the school is burning hot inside and we are all cooking. For some reason, the heat is stuck on in the school...on high...plus, the temperature outside is warmer than +20. so we are cooking!

Yesterday I went with the guys as they pitted their trucks against eachother to see who's was better. I was in the truck that won by a landslide and it was almost as fun as Disneyland! Not for real...but it's as close as you can get when your secluded out here...My stomach was in my throat the whole time! It was a Toyota Tacoma...and I want one!

I'll write more today...later. I want to tell you about my run on Sunday!

Long Weekend

I am leaving today at 1pm....as soon as school is out. Elliot, Vince, Gayle and I are going to Grande Prairie for the weekend. Watch out Costco...here we come!

I am not sure if we are headed there for a good opportunity to refill our kitchen cupboards, or for the purpose of seeing Spiderman 3. Either way, should be fun!

Happy Victoria Day!

*here is a picture of the "school bus" arriving at the school in the snow yesterday. How cool is Fox Lake...how cool! *

My Guests

I volunteered to host the girls who were running the Career Clicks workshop at our school. I was actually only expecting one, but two girls came off the plane...and that just made the whole thing so much more exciting. I spent all of Tuesday night preparing my home for them, rearranging furniture and setting up the spare room. My mom would be so proud of the job I did...I really take after here when it comes to these things I think. I had the whole house decorated up really nice for them, carefully rolled up the towels and facecloths and placed them in a wicker basket in the bathroom, with an arrangement of soaps and lotions for them. It was just nice and cozy in here. Anyways...this is not what I want to tell you about!

Dana, (left) and Emily (right) came over to my home after school on Wednesday. Then, I asked the principal , Mr. Simms, if I could steal his jeep, which he said would be okay. Well...what else is there to do but go on a joy ride when you have your bosses vehicle! I took the girls on a tour of Fox Lake. We checked out everything Fox lake has to offer. But, after that five minute tour was up...we needed more. so...we went off roading. I took the girls to Little Red, the ghost town about 20 minutes away. We drove in and out of the bushes, taking gazillions of pictures of the cabins, tee pees, and campsites. We walked around by the Little Red River and by the Peace River and the weather was terrific. *as a side note, I really missed my mom while we were out there, and kept thinking how much she would enjoy exploring in some of the old, caving in, log homes* The girls and I got along great and couldn't stop smiling and laughing. Our trip to Little Red went so well! AS we were leaving we passed a local family camping. Well....they were probably living there. Dana is a very outgoing person and asked to stop the vehicle so she could go say hi. I was reluctant, but we stopped. I felt like we would be intruding. But she's an excellent communicator and I saw things that I have never seen before. There camp was really authentic. It was dinner time. They were making bannock and tea on the fire and were smoking the fish they had caught that afternoon over the fire. The women wouldn't talk to us...I believe out of shyness. But one of the men came up to us and answered our questions and showed us around camp.

Now the real off roading began. As we were driving back on the dirt road, I decided to take the girls on a bush road, barely wide enough for a vehicle because it's meant for quads, to go and see the staff winter cabin. What a wild ride! Every few hundred meters we had to get out to move fallen trees off our path. It is a 1.5km drive to the cabin...but totally worth the bumpy ride. The cabin is sitting on a cliff overlooking the Little Red River, right at a spot where the river makes a u-turn...and the scenery is amazing. There is a one room cabin, about the size of a master bedroom...with nothing in it but a potbelly stove. Outside, is a covered entrance with firewood piled up. About 50metres away, is a winter tent, big enough to sleep eight I guess, with room for a stove in there. The camp has a cook area...kinda like a fire pit...but grander! There is a wild life watch area...a box in a tree for you to sit in, with peep holes to look out. There is a area for us to set up a sweat lodge too. You can tell because the area is perfectly round and has a pile of rocks in the middle.

We got back to Fox Lake and went to return the vehicle...it was about 7pm. Mr. Simms asked if we had fun and we all broke out in smiles. He told us to take the vehicle and go for dinner. We went and picked up my neighbor, Elliot, and the Tec guy, Vince...and the five of us set off for our first experience at the local restaurant...the only restaurant for hours around!!!! The Corner Pocket is a restaurant you would avoid at all costs if it were located in the city...but here...we were all looking forward to it. The pizza was extraordinary!!!! Totally awesome and loaded with good everything! We had a great time. As we drove home after, we stopped to take pictures of the wild horses that roam Fox Lake. Once home, Dana, Emily, Vince and I stayed up till 1am talking, singing and dancing, and laughing. I slept on the couch and Emily and Dana each had there own room upstairs. The next morning, Dana made breakfast. Vince came back over and we all sat in my living room...eating pancakes, drinking moccas and watching the snow fall on a May morning in Fox Lake. A perfect time with my guests. I can't wait to see them again next year!

sunday's very long run

I spent the entire day on Sunday cleaning my house, tidying up and doing laundry. Laundry tok a very long time...I flooded my basement. What happened? Well, my washer and my dryer sat very far apart from eachother downstairs, so I pushed them to be closer together so that I could balance my laundry basket between them....I didn't even think that I might be stretching the hose! Well, I did, and the hose came off..so the washer was trying to fill up the load with water, buy I had pulled a plug and all the water was shooting out the bottem! Luckily, there is terrific drainage in my basement, and there was hardly any mess to speak of!

At around 4:20 I went out for a run. I ran to the river and back. What was an hour long run took me 35 mins today! I can't believe how much of a difference I am seeing in my running abiltites up here! I went home, and changed into cooler clothes cause I was so hot, and decided to run again...so that I would at least be out for an hour.

This time I ran opposite direction of the river, towards the basball diamonds. The house just after the baseball diamonds is also our car junk yard...and I had heard that across from that house was a road for quads that should take me back to the school. So, I took it. It was a great run and the smell of the forest after the rain we've had for the last couple days was invigorating! I enjoyed every second of my run...until I came to a fork in the road..I didn't know where to go. I steered left. Another fork...I took the middle path...another fork and I steered left. I was lost. Very lost. Eventually running down that quad path I knew I would get to a main road with homes...so I kept going. When I got to the main road I didn't know which way was North or anything...so I just ran. I was apparently heading out of town...LOL! And I was to embarrased to turn around, so I kept running until I came to no houses...cause I didn't want anyone to see me turn around....(I am very proud sometimes!). Once I turned around, I followed the road. Eventually I started recoginzing homes. I saw Jeffery's house where I played Chinese Baseball, I passed Nancy's parents house, and I finally came to the Corner Pocket (our restaurant). From there I had only to run back into town, and head back home. My short little half hour run became an hour and a half. But it was worth it. I ran somewhere I had never been...children shouted, "Hello Miss Cassidy" from almost every house, and I got to see where some of my students lived.

I wore a skirt today because I am so happy with the way my calve muscles look...I am starting to look like a runner. Slowly..but yahh!!

The feast

Today I very lazily woke up around noon. It's a Saturday by the way...so I don't feel guilty. And it has been raining for the past couple days, and I don't know...but rain makes me feel lazy. I rushed to get ready because I promised on of my students that I would pick her up at one today to take her to the feast at the school.

I guess there was really no need. We showed up at one for the feast and nothing was prepared. I took her home and spent a lovely afternoon visiting with her mom, who is at home most days caring for her three week old daughter, Rose. She is really sweet and I think that this may be the beginning of a great friendship. I have kinda taken her daughter under my wing...without really thinking about it. She comes over for tea parties and we go to the park together. After school I walk her home. It's easier on her mom...has been my excuse for spending all this extra time with my student. But the young girl is also a joy to be around!

I ended up taking my student to the feast at 5pm. There was a buffet table set up in the gym at the school. We had moose meat stew, and moose meat vegetable stew to choose from. Plus, there was salted moose meat, moose meat ribs and regular moose meat to choose from. And....regular and fried Bannock. Tea was made to drink. The tables were set with salt, pepper and ketchup. We sat with Mr. Simms the principal and just relaxed there for a long while. Mr. Simms and I chatted it up while my young friend ran around the gym playing with her classmates. Very few people showed up for the feast compared to other events, but it was nice. And I really enjoy moose meat. And no, it doesn't taste a thing like chicken!

two different stories, same event

Here's what happened in our eyes.

As usual, the road was calling my name. I answered. Wearing my favorite blue runners that are years old, with holes all over, my running outfit, a pink toque and blue mitts...I set off in the light rain for the river. I am running a lot faster than I think I have ever ran before. I almost feel like I am running for the entire time instead of jogging which is great. I feel better and I feel faster. I race myself and every run counts. I have a really hard time with relaxing runs...I can't seem to stay slow. Today is no different.

I am almost to the river. After I pass the water treatment plant, there is a bend in the road, then a house, and then the hill that leads down to the river. I am racing myself now. As I pass the house, dogs start barking. It scares me a little, but the dogs normally never bother me...and when I am frightened, I keep going and the dogs usually don't leave their property. One of the dogs is loose. He is a rottweiler. He runs to the edge of his property and barks at me. I slow down and yell "Stop". He stops. I start to back towards the river. He lunges at me again. I stop and yell "stop". He stops. Again, I back away from him towards the river. Again he lunges. I yell "Stop" and he stops. I do not move again. I stand. And he stands and barks at me in the road. I am scared and I ask God, out loud...with my voice...to help me. Mere moments later a white truck appears at the top of the hill. It pulls into the driveway of the house and looks as though it is going to head back to town. I yell out that I am scared of the dog. The man asks if I want him to shoot it. I say no. suddenly, I feel as though that it is. My help is over...I think he is going to drive away. I ask him to help me. "I need help". The man then backs his truck down the hill...in between me and the dog. I jump in the back. As the man drives away, the dog chases the truck for a while. Once I feel safe, I ask him to let me off so I can continue my run. The man ends up being my friend Nancy's best friend, and my friend...Kevin. I thank him. I don't run again. I cry all the way home. Half way home, another local friend of mine, Chester, slows down his truck to say Hi. I ask for a ride home. I am too emotional to walk anymore. He drives me home and Nancy is there to give me a hug. Kevin had gone straight to her to tell her about the dog and I . I am so blessed.


Here's how I am going to learn from it.

God has a beautiful way of using the road to talk to me. I hear the road call my name...so I go to run...but I always find out that I was wrong. It was God calling me out to spend time with him. Today is no different. God called me out to spend time with him. I am learning to hear his voice and today I was half expecting to find him out on my run. I did. After the dog attack...I asked God what he wanted me to learn from that situation. Here is what I learned today.

God has a plan for all of us. He has a purpose for our lives and he wants to see us reach the goal. And he will help us. My goal is "the river". My goal is to be the Angela that God created me to be. And there is a path to follow..."the road". But Sometimes, things get in the way of us and our goal. The devil tries to tempt us, lie to us, and scare us. Just like the dog on my run. We say to the devil..."stop" and he stops. But we back away...still towards our goal...but in fear of the lie or temptation. The devil sees we are weak and we call out again "stop". And he stops. Again, we back away, still towards the goal, but with our back to it...instead focusing on the lie, the temptation, the fear. The devil lunges again. Finally, we realize we can't do it on our own. We say "Stop" and then we call out to God to come and save us, rescue us, help us. And God loves us! He has promised to be there for us always...so he helps us. The white truck. And even though God is all-knowing, he desires fellowship with us. We have to ask for help and admit our situation. "I am scared of the dog". "Help me". Then we are rescued.

God wants us to reach the goal. But he wants us to reach it running fast, head first into it, with no fear of what is behind us. He never intended for us to reach our goal, our finish line, backing into it, with our eyes and mind focused on "the dog". How then can we truly enjoy the rich blessings God has in store for us. We can try to lose the devil on our own..."stop". But it's not effective. We are still backing away. We need God's help in all things. Then we will have the assurance that the lie and the temptation and the fear is gone and we will be able to confidently turn our eyes back towards the goal and run again towards it will no fear of what is behind us.


I am broken inside today because of what God is doing in my life. He is breaking me down. But I rejoice, because I know that God is going to build me back up to be more than I can imagine. On our conversation, God reminded me that he knows me very well. He said, "Angela, if you want to have a mansion in heaven made out of pickles...you can have it. But I assure you, what I have prepared for you will drive pickles completely out of your mind."

Well, reader...that means that heaven is going to be unimaginably perfect. And I can't wait to hang out with God for the rest of eternity. So press on in your faith and do not let the "dogs" slow you down. I promise you...He is there and He is just waiting for you to call out to Him. God will answer. I know it!

God Bless you.

very important

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www.thegodmovie.com